No doubt about it what I love about the South ("About the South" Rodney Atkins)
My BFF, Amber Croy (of Dalton), sent me an e-mail today entitled "I tawk Southern." First, I thought this e-mail was from a 5 year old spelling phonetically. But I quickly came to the realization that this e-mail was about the fabulousness of "Tawking Southern." It compares the North and South; however, it made me recall an e-mail called, "You know you are from Georgia if..." (I am sure you have read this before).
Put in a mixed tape of Georgia songs (Midnight Train to Georgia, Georgia Rain, The Devil Went Down to Georgia, Every Dawg Has His Day, The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia, Georgia on my Mind, just to name a few). For your reading pleasure, and my love of the Southland, enjoy these TWO versions of "You know you are from Georgia if..."
Version 1:
1. You measure distance in hours.
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
4. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.
5. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it,
no matter what time of the year.
6. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
7. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
grain, or animal.
8. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
9. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
10. You get tears in your eyes when Lee Greenwood sings "proud to be an
American", no matter how often you hear it.
11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
13. You think lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
14. The local paper covers national and international news on one page but
requires 6 pages for sports.
15. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
16. You attend every high school reunion, and chaired the committee twice.
17. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm."
18. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and
Christmas.
19. You know whether another Georgian is from southern, middle, or northern
Georgia soon as they open their mouth.
20. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
21. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or
off to "Wally World.
22. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili
weather.
23. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor.
24. You know what a "spicket" is.
25. You still call the refrigerator the "icebox."
26. You call it a cold Christmas if you don't break out in a sweat in your
new sweater.
27. Your whole town completely shuts down for 1 inch of snow or just the
threat of snow
Version 2:
1. You can properly pronounce Chickamauga(Chick-a-MAW-ga), DeKalb (de-KAB), Dahlonega (duh-LON-uh-guh), Smyrna(SMERna), BuenaVista(BYOON-a VISS-ta), Valdosta (val-DOSS-ta) , Okefenokee (OH-kee-fin-OH-kee), La Fayette (la FATE),Vienna (vie-IN-er), Seville (SEE-vill), and Albany(all-BIN-nee)
P.S . Atlanta = ADD-LANNA not AT-LANT-A.
2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.
3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for
a funnel.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the
distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don't have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggies.
6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at weddings and funerals.
7. You think everyone from a Yankee-state has an accent.
8. You measure distance in minutes.
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit
11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding
date.
13. You know someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
14 Almost everyone you know is either Baptist or Methodist.
15. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed
Crew Cab is.
16. You know everything goes better with Ranch dressing.
17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
18. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin'" to send them to your
friends.
19. On one side of the road there's Wal-Mart and on the other is a cotton
field.
20. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."
21. "Ya'll" is a word.
22. Fried chicken is a major part of your diet
23. Krispy Kreme doughnuts are the only kind of doughnuts you eat.
24. You call it a cold Christmas if you don't break out in a sweat in your
new sweater.
25. Your whole town completely shuts down for 1 inch of snow or just the
threat of snow.
26. People actually grow, eat and like okra!
27. You know the difference between a hillbilly, a redneck, and a
Southerner.
28. Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
29. Panama City Beach, Florida is a big deal.
30. You understand that at least once a year your car will turn yellow with
pollen.
31. You know at least one Bubba, and maybe a few guys named Bo.
32. You say "tuna fish sandwich."
33. You use "Sir" and "Ma'am" if there's a remote possibility that person
you're talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are.
And finally...
34. You are 100% Georgian if you have ever had this conversation:
"You wanna coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr Pepper."
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